It’s been a rough few months. Every time I’ve thought that maybe I’ve found solid ground, something happens that I never saw coming and I fall even deeper into the darkness. It’s hard to gain my footing and keep moving forward when things keep tripping me up, but I know that I am strong and I can make it through these challenges.
Certain things have completely shaken me to my core. Although I don’t like saying it, I do feel somewhat broken to a certain extent. But, I feel like admitting that I feel broken is like admitting that I’m giving up, which I am not. Yes, during the past six months I have been through literally hell and back, but as my husband pointed out to me, I’m still here and I’m still going and that says something.
Because I am strong.
Whether I always believe that or not is another story all together, but the truth of the matter is I am strong. I have fought my entire life and I am still fighting. It’s the fire that burns within me. As long as I never let that flame go out, I will be ok.
Lately, due to my depression and things that have happened, I have lost confidence in myself. I have felt like I’ve lost my purpose and direction in life. I have lost interest in things that always brought me joy such as reading, and art, and this past week writing has even become difficult. All these things that are a part of me, I’m losing interest in and I know that’s not good. So, I just need to keep fighting to regain my strength and to find the joy in the everyday, even if that’s hard.
There are great, wonderful things coming down the line. Some I know about, and some are still mysteries to me, and I’m pulling strength from those joys because they do help me to keep going.
A lot has happened recently, but I won’t let it define me. It’s all just part of my story.