Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball that I could gaze into and know what was going to happen; what I am meant to do in this life. I feel like I’ve always been on this path of discovery. Back when I graduated High School, I never knew what I wanted to do with my life. And even today, I still have no idea. I know that through this blog I have found one of my purposes. And I think that’s truly amazing! I love being able to write, share ideas, share things I have learned, and speak out about issues that touch me deeply. I love that people connect to what I have to say. I think that’s so awesome. But, when it comes to job / career wise I honestly have never had a clue what to do.
I feel like I’m back to square one again. But, it’s different this time. I’m not jumping on every opportunity that comes my way. I’m trying to be selective. I’m trying to go with what feels right. And it’s hard taking a different path than I always have. I don’t know what job or career I will end up at next, but I know that I need to trust this path that I am on, wherever it might lead me. I am finding it very difficult, though to just surrender, to surrender to the unknown, because I’ve always “had” to be in control. So it’s different, and it’s hard, and it’s scary, and causing me a lot of anxiety.
Most of the time when I think I’m on solid ground and can do this “surrendering” thing, I find my mind starting to fill with doubts. I feel like I’m not contributing to our household by sitting at home, even though I have gone on interviews. I feel like I’m just floating. I start worrying about paying bills, and money even though technically my husband and I figured out we are ok until the end of February. It’s just hard doing something different than I’ve always done.
As I sat at home today with my husband and girls, watching the snow make the world look like a winder wonderland outside, I still kept finding it hard to be present because my mind wanted to take me to other places. I did yoga, which helped me to slow down and breathe. And then, to get out of my head I did some art.
I started thinking that I’m on a path. I don’t know where this path will lead me. I don’t know where I’m headed. I just need to have trust and faith. And thinking of this path, which is the path of life that’s filled with all these different twists and turns made me think about cairns, which is the symbol of My M.U.D. Life.
I love cairns and I touched on their symbolism in a previous post. If you are a hiker, you have definitely come across these little rock piles while you are out in the forest. They mark a path. They show you a way to go, but you don’t have to go that way. Cairns are just there to guide you. They have been laid along a path by people that you have never seen, but they show you that you are not on the journey alone. These people have stood in the same exact place you have stood at one point or another and helped to add their wisdom to the path. Cairns are not permanent. They are nature. They connect us to one another. And to me, cairns represent life, life’s journey, the people we encounter, and the decisions we have to make. They come from the earth and they will return to the earth, just like us.
Thinking of cairns, and the path of life in general, made me think about the beach stones my husband and I collected a few years ago from the Jersey Shore. We never knew what to do with these rocks, but they were beautiful. Some big, some small. Each unique in their own way. No two alike. We had brought them home, and had put them in a rock tumbler to make them smooth, but after that we didn’t have any immediate project in mind for them. So, we just put them in a container, and put them on a shelf. Thinking of those beach stones today, how I’m feeling so lost, and cairns, gave me a brainstorm. I finally knew what to do with those beach stones.
For me, when I’m lost or anxious, it’s important to do art. That’s a huge part of my M.U.D. life. I need to express how I am feeling in some shape or form, in a positive way. I need to get those feelings out. So, what did I do? I took those beach stones, channeled how I was feeling, and starting making mini little rock cairns!
I lost myself in the art, the process of making the mini cairns. I found beauty in every rock. I found myself assembling the cairns like puzzle pieces, finding which fit best together. I felt calm. I had a purpose. I was doing something meaningful, something that was literally a part of me. Before I knew it, I had all these beautiful mini little rock cairns all around me. Each one just as unique and different as you would find in the forest. Each one symbolic of our journey through life. Each one as a reminder that there are always paths to take, you are never alone.
Look How Tiny They Are!!!
I decided to list my little works of art on Etsy, just to see what would happen. I think they would make awesome little gifts to remind someone that they are not alone, that there are a million paths to take, you just need to find the one that is right for you. I think they are a wonderful reminder to live with Mindful Unique Decisions each and every day. I think they are very calming, very zen.
Cairns helped me find my path today. They showed me a way. A way to express myself. A way to share the journey with others. And that is completely M.U.D.
If you are interested in purchasing a M.U.D. Life Mini Rock Cairn click here. They are $6.00 each plus $2.00 shipping and handling. I will be sure to include the meaning of rock cairns with your purchase as well.