For the first time in almost a month I am feeling more like myself. I feel at peace. I feel calm. What brought about this change? Today my mom and I went to the cemetery to visit Rachel and it really brought me a sense of closure and peace.
I’m still struggling with the “why”, why did this happen, etc… and I know it’s going to take awhile for me to work through that, but today, today I feel good. And seeing how I feel today shows me there is hope. It shows me that I will make it through and be ok. Even if I wake up tomorrow and feel blah again, at least I know that I can feel happy, that I can feel at peace, and that I will be ok. Today was a first step towards making peace with Rachel’s passing. It felt good being at the cemetery and knowing she is with her parents; knowing that she is at peace.
So, based on how I’m feeling today I thought I would share a poem with you that I wrote back in 2015. It seems very fitting for today, and I hope you enjoy it.
Each step that I take is leading me somewhere
Each breath that I take makes me more aware
Each moment that I stop and take a chance to look around
I see that maybe I have finally been found.
Each day that goes by I learn something new
And I’m starting to see the sun and the sky seems more blue
And things are finally starting to settle into place
And the sound of laughter and smiles are returning to my face.