Today I was struggling. Everything just started piling on top of me and I honestly felt like I was going to break. Luckily, I was able to recognize today that I was heading into a very bad place and reached out immediately to two people to help me: 1) my husband and 2) my new therapist who I started working with two weeks ago.
My husband is always so amazing at helping me. He is really good at pulling me out of whatever dark space I’m trying to crawl into. He’s good at helping me to refocus and look at things from a different angle. He can always get me to calm down and laugh, even if I don’t want to. When I called him, we made a plan to take our girls to the dog park this afternoon after work, which gave me something super positive to look forward to and to think about.
After talking to my husband I texted my new therapist. I’ve been really hesitant about seeing a therapist up until now because in the past it’s never worked for me. But, I think I finally found a therapist who understands me and truly can help me. And today she gave me some great advice that I wrote down on a post-it note and used throughout the day to help myself refocus. She said that I should ask myself the following questions:
- Where am I?
- Is anything bad happening right now?
- Then why do I feel bad?
And to remind myself that “I am ok right now.” And you know what? This new tool really helped me! Anytime I felt my thoughts getting out of control I stopped, took a deep breath, and asked myself those three questions. I realized that the reason I was feeling bad was because I was either projecting my feelings about the past or about the future and not being present. I was letting myself get overwhelmed by things that have happened recently or things that have not happened yet. Those three simple questions really changed my day and just helped to put my mind back into neutral and focus on the present. This is a tool I’m going to definitely try to use from now on. It’s another way of being mindful and that is totally M.U.D.
I know that throughout the coming weeks and months I’m going to continue to struggle. I know it will get easier over time, but it’s going to take awhile. So much has happened this month, but I think some good is coming out of it. I reached out for outside help and I think I finally found someone who can help me start addressing some of my lingering issues so I can keep moving forward, one small step at a time.
And this afternoon, after work, my husband and I took our girls to the dog park in town. And being with the three of them brightened up my day so much! Watching my girls running around with huge smiles on their faces just brings me pure joy. Watching my husband play with our girls warms my heart. I can’t help but feel happy when I’m with them. Just another way to refocus and realize how much love I am surrounded by on a daily basis. Even when the darkness seems to grab me and wants to drag me down, I always have the three of them to help pull me out.
It’s important to ask for help, especially if you can feel the darkness grabbing you. Reach out to your support system, lean on them, and use their strength to help yourself climb out of the dark. Trust me, it is totally worth it!