I’ve had a rough day, but I learned an important lesson. And I guess if you can get a lesson out of a bad day then that’s a good thing because it’s only one more step forward. But, lessons are hard to learn, and sometimes they bring pain.My husband says I care so deeply about many things, but I need to learn that I can’t help everyone. And he’s correct. I can’t even though I want to. I’m only one person. Even if it hurts me not to help, sometimes, especially if someone doesn’t want the help, you have to take a step back and reevaluate.
The thing is, by nature, I love to help people. It’s who I am. And I don’t like to see people hurting or struggling. I know what that feels like. And I know what it feels like to feel alone. I know what it feels like to battle the darkness. It’s hard. I want to help everyone that I can in some way. I don’t do it to get anything out of it. I do it because innately that is who I am. Even if it affects me negatively in some way, I will do anything I can to help another person.
But, sometimes people don’t want help or don’t want to get better. And in those cases, no matter how many times you try, no matter how many times you go out of your way to try to help them or make them happier or make their life better, it doesn’t work, and you are left feeling helpless, like you did something wrong. I internalize that. I take on that pain, that hopelessness and I know I can’t because I’m not to blame. I did everything I could do humanly possible to help, but it didn’t work.
So now I am hours removed from the situation, and although it led me down a dark hole for most of the day, I think I’m ok now. I can look at the situation from a distance and see the lessons that I needed to get out of what happened today. I need to know that I can’t help everyone. That I can’t always go out of my way. That I can’t always put myself out there. That sometimes… sometimes I just need to take a step back and take care of me.
I can’t put myself in negative situations. I need to focus on my journey. That’s M.U.D. making the decision to step back, reevaluate, and see the lessons you can learn. Each day can bring with it good or bad. It’s what we take away from the lessons that life throws in our path that matters.
Choose the light.
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